My Friend...

I have been waiting to post this because I wanted to try to find the right words to justify the memories I have of my friend and how she impacted my life.

First I want to say that Sheila was not only my co-worker, but my friend and sometimes partner-in-crime. :) We always used to laugh and joke around. I used to try to make her laugh on purpose because I loved her reactions. Unfortunately, I do not remember the first time I met her but I would like to tell those of you who didn't know Sheila a little more about her.

Sheila was always very outspoken and told you how it was and that was what I loved and respected about her most. She never held back and always gave me honest advice when I needed it. One of my favorite memories of Sheila was this past holiday season, Sheila had this stuffed doll that sat on top of her cubicle wall and it had bells on it. So, one day I stopped by her desk and started playing with it and had an idea to make her laugh. So, I put the doll where she couldn't see it and shook my head the same time I shook the doll so it looked like the jingling was coming from my head(for those of you who know me, this is not a surprise as this is my normal behavior to get a laugh). Well, she started cracking up and I made it an every other day thing for as long as she had "Mr. Jingles" on the wall.

Whenever I was in a bad mood or upset, as I would pass by her desk I would hear, "Hey! Are you a Piss face today?!" Now when I realize I am in a bad mood or upset, I hear her saying that in my head and it makes me smile.

Sheila was a loving, caring, down-to-earth woman who's life was tragically cut short. For those of us who knew her, she will live on in our memories, but for those of you who didn't know her, she was a great friend, a pleasure to work with and I will miss her every day for the rest of my life.

Sheila passed away in her sleep the morning of May 1st. She was 40 years old.....Rest In Peace My Friend. You will be deeply missed. The day you passed away was the day a piece of my heart died along with you.

Kim's Big Day!!!

Hey Bloggers!

Today is a very special day for someone very special to me. This person has inspired me to truly stand up and take charge of my life.....to be a driver and not a passenger....to grab life and seize every moment.....I am talking about Kimberley Locke.





For those of you who know me know that I have been a huge fan of hers since I saw her audition on the 2nd season of AI. Well...today is her big day!! The release of her 2nd album, Based on a True Story. I CANNOT WAIT TO GET MY COPY!

I have been a fan of Kim's for about 4 years now. Her fan club, The Krew, have been following her career very closely and attending her public appearances, concerts, watching her TV appearances, tours, etc....We are a loyal group of die hards. I have seen and met her countless times.

The last time I saw her in person was September 9th 2006....it was the week before my 30th birthday. She was performing at The Richmond County Fair in Staten Island. We had front row lawn seats that day. She knew we came out in full force for support. :) Above is a pic of the 2 of us at the meet & greet booth.

Kim, if you get a chance to read this, I want you to know that you are my role model. I am so proud of all of your success and hard work. You never fell off the radar and it takes guts to get the glory and you stuck it out. Well, The Krew and I are very proud of you and we are very excited about getting our hands on this album just as much as the first one if not more!

Congratulations on the sophmore release and I look forward to seeing you on tour this summer! You know if you are in the Tri-state area, I won't be too hard to find. :) This is your day! ENJOY IT!!! ONE LOVE ALWAYS!!!

-JoJo

P.S. - For everyone who is reading this, go out and get a copy, you WILL NOT be disappointed!!! ;)

MOVING DAY!!!!

Hey Kids!

Well, I did it! I am finally the PROUD renter of a 1 bedroom apartment! I am no longer a renter of basements. I am out of the basement and on my own in a BEAUTIFUL, SPACIOUS one bedroom!

*Looks around* There are boxes everywhere and I don't know where to begin but it is all mine. As my face wells up with tears, I think back to the long, hard road that got me here and I am proud of myself for hanging in there and not giving up.

Two years ago, I was living in a nice "first apartment" studio basement with my own private entrance and a nice patio. It was great but I never realized what I have been missing out on being totally on my own. I must admit, I was a bit nervous and it was a bit overwelming to have all of this space for myself. I was scared, but I knew the risk was definitely going to be worth it. From top to bottom, EVERYTHING is mine!

I will have pics soon...once I get more settled and unpack the very unattractive cardboard boxes everywhere. I find myself looking around and I keep having to pinch myself swearing it is all a dream that I don't want to wake up from, but it isn't...this is very real and I am psyched about all of the possibilities!! Hardwood floors and HUGE living room and arched entry way...*Shakes head* I made it!!! I have been hearing the theme song to The Jeffersons in my head since yesterday..."Well...we're moving on up...to the East side....to a deluxe apartment in the skkyyyyy!!!!" Although...there are no beans burning in the kitchen....*Scratches head* I will have to work on the whole cooking thing...*shrugs*

So, moving day went well. The movers had everything in the truck within a half an hour and after a semi-sentimental farewell to my roomies, I was on my way back to Westchester! After everything was in and the movers left, Susan, Jason and I just looked around and Susan (my personal interior decorator) said....."Let's go shoppin!!!" So, we piled in the car and ended up at The Christmas Tree Shoppe!!! I got 2 new matching lamps and a nice basket for magazines to put on the side of the couch...*thinking* Didn't know you needed a basket for magazines..*Shrugs* ANYWAY......they were here for moral support (God knows I always need it) and we had pizza and hung out in MY apt. :)

You know it's funny.....no matter how much you try, you can never fully prepare for the things in store for you. I honestly never thought this would happen for me. For the past year, I had given up 4 hours of my life every day to sitting on a train, to catch another train to catch a bus and finally reach home too tired to speak and get up 4 1/2 hours later to do it all over again. Looking back on it now, it was a struggle but now that I am here....I now know that I had to go through that because in life there are lessons to be learned. Kimberley Locke says in one of her songs, "I wouldn't change a thing, cuz life is how you learn, you live, you learn and then you know..." Well, I guess I had to go through that year of my life to get me to the pot of gold on the other side. All I have to say, is every single moment sitting on those trains and that bus.....looking back on it now......was ALL worth it because this is truly the happiest I have EVER been!!! :)

My Coming Out Story....

For those of you who know me...know that I am a Lesbian and do not hide the fact. So, I thought I would share my "Coming Out"story. Everyone in the community has one, so here's mine.....

Let's start with how "I knew" I was a gay. When I was younger, I had stronger feelings for girls than I did boys and tried all the way through most of college to suppress it because I didn't want to be known as "different or not normal". I thought it would give people another reason to snicker and make fun of me behind my back(the first reason? The red hair....I was the only red head around and was constantly being teased). I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of adding to the "humiliation". So, I let my friends do the makeover thing. I grew my hair, got tips on my nails and even went as far as wearing makeup. *Shakes head* I can't believe I just didn't confide in my friends back then, but deep down, they knew.

Anyway, I tested the waters in the heterosexual dating pool। It always seemed to like feel like something was missing. I wasn't getting the butterflies everyone was telling me about. The first thing I thought was maybe there was something wrong with me...maybe I am not a "dater" or capable of it. So, I talked to a small group of friends from college about it and a few of them had had "experiences". They shared their stories and finally it all made sense...that's me! So, I put up an ad online without a picture so no one I knew would see me. I started going to a few NY Liberty games and met some really cool people and they helped me along. I found some clubs and the next thing I know I had my first girlfriend. It was the happiest I had ever been. I was living with roommates at the time and they knew about me, so I didn't have to hide anything. My parents had moved away by this time and had NO idea and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as I could.

Well, the day finally came. I was on the phone with my dad a few days before I was going there for Christmas and he was acting a little strange. Long story short, my dad knew and I asked him how he found out.....I WAS OUTED BY A GAY GUY!!! Background: When my parents first moved to Vegas the first people they met were this gay couple. So, the younger of the 2 guys knew right away when he met me and offered to take me out to help it along and I confided in him. Well, he decided to, in his words, "help along the process and ease my parents into it"! He outed me and on CHRISTMAS!!!

Well, my girlfriend at the time was very supportive and gave me encouraging words and drove me to and from the airport. When I got there, both of my parents were waiting for me! (Very unusual...my dad was working so it was just my mom and "the gay guy". So, we get home and my mom says, "Tomorrow night we are sitting down to dinner together as a family!!!"

So, we sit down the next night and have dinner in silence. The dishes are cleared and all of a sudden, I hear my sister's voice, "So, you're a lesbian!" To make a long story even longer, my parents still love me...I am their daughter, but it will take some getting used to.

Well, it has been just over 5 years now since that fateful Christmas and I am very lucky and blessed to have such great family and friends. I am no longer with that girlfriend but if you are reading this, thank you for all of the love and support. I definitely have more of a sense of who I am now and have learned from past relationships and grown. I am currently single and I am enjoying it and concentrating on something very important right now.....Me. :)

My Hero

Earlier this morning, I made a posting about American Idol. Well, a little while after I posted, I was going about my day at work and it was one of those days where I got everything in at once and the pile was so high on my desk.....I started freaking out. I went into my supervisor's office and laid out my concerns for a list of priorities. As we are talking, a co-worker of ours comes in and we all start talking about her health.

This particular co-worker of ours was out of the office for the past 6 months literally fighting for her life. She has a form of the big "C" word. I don't even like to look at the word, let alone type it out as my Grandmother passed away from it back in 1992. She was my heart. I loved her more than anything.

Anyway, our co-worker started telling us about undergoing radical chemo, in and out of the hospital, all of the meds and side effects and I am watching her the whole time and she has this look on her face like she was talking about someone else. I turned to her and told her she was my hero. She has been through so much and she is still not fully out of the woods, but she has such a positive attitude. She looks GREAT! She has always been one of those people that always brighten up the room when they walk in, so you can imagine what it was like not to see her for 6 months...wondering how she was and if she was ever going to come back to work. We all hoped and prayed. Everyday I walked past her empty, dark office, I would think of her and hoped that she was hanging in there.....and she was. This woman is amazing! As soon as she walked out of that office, I took a moment and cried. I didn't want her to see the emotion after all she has been through, but it washed over me and I finally realized that life is really precious. I know we hear it all the time and we vow to stop and smell the roses and then we go on with our everyday life and take simple things for granted....walking, breathing, hearing, seeing.....

Just this morning, I was blabbering on and on how "The Kid" should be kicked off of American Idol and complaining about my work load and she walks into that office, tells us what she has been through and suddenly none of it mattered anymore. I didn't care if Sanjaya stayed or left American Idol and quit thinking about a 'conspiracy theory', I didn't care about my workload.....I watched her walk away from that office this morning and realized I know someone who beat the odds, but is still in for the fight of her life and she is going to be just fine.

You truly are My Hero.

"The Kid" has staying power....

Well, AI fans....*sigh* I must say that "The Kid" is going to be around for at least another week. I have to admit even I am getting curious to see what he is going to do next. For those of you who have not heard, Chris Sligh is out of the competition. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but he is better than Haley...WHAT HAPPENED THERE?!?

This whole "Save The Kid Because He Sucks" Campaign is getting very old very fast, but apparently whatever his "fanbase" is doing, it is working and slowly one by one he is killing his competition. Maybe it is time for the Producers to step in and do something. He should not be getting by every single week AND he wasn't even in the Bottom 3!!!

Well, if anyone has an idea to "Stop The Insanity"....I would LOVE to hear it!!! He is all over the media! I have talked to friends that don't even watch the show and know who this guy is!!! I get that he is milking his 15 minutes of fame and I am sure anyone in his position probably would, but do you really want to be known as the "Guy who got through and can't hold a note, but people voted for him anyway because he SUCKED!"

My friends are telling me he is going to be around for a while longer and I hate to say I agree. I am fighting it.....so anyone reading this who is a fan of any of the other contestants booted off, pick a new favorite and vote for them...HARD!! Chris Sligh fans, I know you are upset and heartbroken but the only way to make this right is to GET HIM OUT!!! So, I implore you....Let us all ban together and fight the Disease invading American Idol and take our show back and show them by letting someone talented win!!! Melinda, LaKisha, Blake, Jordin!! COME ON AMERICA....we still have the power...Let's use it to kill and dissect this Disease!!!

NEXT WEEK......IT'S ON!!!

Shall we Dance?!

I must say that I wasn't really anticipating this season of DWTS. There weren't any stars I was interested in seeing but I decided to give it a shot anyway and found myself pleasantly surprised! I am specifically speaking about Ian Ziering (Steve, 90210) and Laila Ali(daughter of Muhammed Ali and undefeated champion boxer). They have quickly become my favorites. I am also enjoying and found myself rooting for Apolo Anton Ohno as well as Heather Mills(I love an underdog).

I think Billy Ray Cyrus is basically the comic relief of the show...especially last week when he tried to pull Karina's hair out ironically to his new single referring to a mullett. First of all, he had a mullett when he was dancing his "Achy Breaky Heart" out in the 90's. Billy....It's the millenium!! Did you get the memo?!?

Then there is N'Syncer Joey Fatone. There was no doubt he would be good with his boy band background so no surprise there. Leeza Gibbons is holding her own and proud of the fact she turned 50. YOU GO GIRL!! Clyde Drexler is smooth for someone almost 7 feet tall, "Cheers' former mailman, Cliff", John Ratzenberger is out to prove something as he is the oldest celebrity in the competition.

Last night was the inevitable "First cut". They showed a package of former contestants that were first to be eliminated. So, when they got right down to it...It was between"Supermodel" Paulina Porizkova and the resident "Ken and Barbie" (judges comments...not mine), "Miss USA 2004 Shandi Finnessey. Unfortunately, Paulina met her fate and she was eliminated. She said she felt like a little kid playing on the playground and the parents came to get her, but she wasn't ready to leave yet. I actually thought that was well thought out....for a supermodel. :P

So, we will see what happens! Next Week: The Jive and the Tango! *Puts rose in teeth*

Stay tuned...same blog time...same blog channel! ;)